Are you living whole heartedly?
At times it can be especially difficult to engage with life, let alone live life wholeheartedly. In the dark times all we want to do is hide or escape and hope that when we dare to peak out from beneath the duvet that things have changed and we can feel happiness again.
As some of you know, my father figure passed away recently. I’ve spent lots of time thinking about death, but also about life, and how to live the fullest life possible. I’ve come to the conclusion that the best way to ensure a happy life and a peaceful death is to live life fully, experience as much as you can, connect with those you love and be all that you can.
But in my experience in order to live fully we have to experience EVERYTHING fully. Because when we close down to the difficult stuff, we also close down to the good stuff too. If we limit how much we can engage with our sadness and grief, we also limit how much we can engage with happiness and love.
It takes courage to live life fully and engage with life fully. To do that we need to take the rough with the smooth…
Check out this great TED talk from Brene Brown, which is a fantastic summary of what it means to live with your WHOLE heart.
Live every day as a mini adventure!
The true voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust
It’s very easy to feel lost or stuck in life. We stop one day, look back and wonder where the time went and why we’re no closer to fulfilling our dreams. Life takes over and we allow it to do so without stopping to check in. We decide to wait for more time, more money, a time when we’re happy or the right time. But we can wait forever for the ‘right time’.
It takes living with presence of mind to make sure we’re getting the most out of life. At the clinic I so often see people feeling as though responsibilities take over and they loose their sense of adventure in life.
Every day we make decisions, perhaps not always consciously, to approach the day with a particular perspective. Ideally this would be ‘another bright new day and I wonder what exciting things might happen’. All too often it’s ‘another day, more responsibility and more of the same’.
Quite often so much of what we experience is related to our attitude though this can be hard to accept and take on board at first.
Waiting for change
Change. Sometimes we long for it. Sometimes we dread it. It is inevitable and unstoppable. Sometimes we can be reassured by knowing everything changes.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Victor Frankl
Mostly, change is gradual which can either give us time to adapt, or time to dwell on what we’d rather were happening. It’s actually one of the few constants of life. Whether we like it or not change reflects the flux of life and the passage of time.
Knowing all of this we often try to fight the tide of change as it challenges our illusion of control over our lives. Maybe we’ve lost a great job or our beloved home, or are waiting for decisions to be made or test results to be released. Either way we know things will be different, but we don’t yet fully understand how we will be affected.
We wait. We hope. We Worry.
Book review: Yoga School Dropout – rating 4/5
Overall rating (4/5) – a funny, lighthearted page turner that can help you get to grips with many Sanskrit terms in yoga
Synopsis – Yoga School Dropout by Lucy Edge is a true story about a yoga practitioner who wants to escape the rat race to find a better way of living. She leaves her job advertising margarine and travels around various ashrams across India. This book is both a travelogue through India and an emotional journey giving insights into one woman’s relationship with herself and her yoga practice.
Addicted to busyness?
Are you addicted to internal busyness?
Busy, busy, busy… it seems to be the modern mantra. Ever find yourself running around, breathless, feeling overwhelmed and fearful of what might happen if you fail to achieve everything on your list?
We all become caught up in the busyness of life, but it can easily become an addiction. Enjoying the high of achieving all the tasks on your list and then lurching to the next task without stopping to pause. Before long, it becomes a habit and we feel the need to always be busy and continuously add to our schedules.
Winter journeying
Travelling. I guess it’s a bit like marmite, you either love it or hate it. My Mum definitely hates it and prefers to get to her destination quickly and by any means.
Whereas I really enjoy travelling. It gives me an opportunity to pause, admire the scenery, and consider where I’ve been and where I’m going next. And it’s a useful tool to be able to tune out of the bustle and stress around me and focus on my inner world.
As we arrive at the Winter Solstice and the days begin to grow lighter it strikes me that this is the perfect time to take stock of my experiences of this past year. The dreams, the triumphs and the failures. It’s also a perfect time to look forward and consider what might be next for me. In the fantastic book “Women Who Run With Wolves” Clarissa Este Pinkola refers to this time of reflection, assimilation and inner enquiry as ‘soul time’ practised in moments of alone time, no matter how big or small they might be.
Read more…
Autumn change
Over the past month or two, life has kindly sent me many reminders in the form of unusual coincidences, vivid dreams or songs or smells that send me far back in time. I find myself marvelling that we can so quickly and intensely be transported back to situations or people that have long been absent from our lives by the smallest reminder…
"Change is a measure of time and, in the autumn, time seems speeded up. What was is not and never again will be; what is, is change." - Edwin Way Teale
Somehow it seems appropriate at this time of year, as Autumn is a time of change and growing darkness with signs of death all around in nature. Within oriental five element theory it is also a time of letting go.
Perfect meditation
I often find myself drifting into conversations about meditation with friends, colleagues and clients. This of course is a great thing – the more people meditating the better! And, who wouldn’t benefit from the deep relaxation, clarity and many other physiological effects it offers?
Ever found yourself putting the cornflakes in the fridge because you were too busy thinking about something rather than being present with what you're doing in the moment?
I know once upon a time my discursive monkey mind would race around and comment on every little thing with many, many tidbits and stories about the past and the future. But as a result of mediation and yoga, being able to choose which thoughts I get lost in and which I let float by has been fantastic; it’s brought so much freedom and relief! I less frequently get caught up in negative thought patterns. I feel generally more relaxed and at peace. I’m more able to be in the moment and respond to what’s happening. I’m also less likely to get carried away with thoughts of shoulda, woulda, coulda and just enjoy what’s happening now. But, of course I do still get caught up in thoughts because my mind, like yours, is very clever at distracting me, but thankfully these days my mind doesn’t dominate so often.
Inspiring adventuress
In just a few short days a good friend of mine is getting on a plane and leaving it all behind to spend the next year travelling. Not that unusual for someone to go travelling you might think… and you’d be right. But, what really inspires me about my friend Ruth’s trip is that she is conquering her fears and loosening her grip on certainty to begin an amazing adventure.
Where do you want to go? What do you want to do?
For Ruth the trip began almost a year ago once she and her family made the decision to leave. Yup, that’s right – she’s taking her partner and 12 year old son, Sam, with her to travel the world for a year.
I’m so inspired by the process she’s been through: deciding to leave, planning the travel, slowly releasing hold of material possessions, planning her son’s schooling, finding care for her much-loved horse and getting mentally prepared for the trip. Many people dream of going travelling and exploring or following their dreams and it takes real courage and perseverance to make your dreams come true.
Dirty words: cleaning up your act!
How much do you assume when you're talking to someone else? Do you listen carefully and closely to what someone tells you or paraphrase?
Communication… the source and solution of many problems in the world!
Essentially communication is at the heart of almost everything we do. We apparently live in the communication age, but how good are we at communicating?
I’m reminded of some New model army lyrics… ” this golden age of communication just means everyone talks at the same time…”!
Be honest, how often do you find yourself thinking about what you want to say when you’re in converstation rather than listening to what the other person is saying?
As communication is central to everything that I do, I’d like to think I am a good communicator. But on some days, I must confess that I can be a fast thinker and quickly get the jist of what someone is saying. But to do this I make assumptions about what particular words mean and the context of the conversation. These assumptions are based on my experience and my notion of the context that the other person is describing. This interpretation is dirty because it is muddied with my viewpoints and doesn’t reflect that of the other person. Or if I were to paraphrase what the other person is saying, I would be using dirty words that reflect my viewpoint.
